Whitehorse

Hello from Whitehorse!

Amber and I left Prince George at about noon on Wednesday and arrived in Watson Lake about 2:30 pm on Thursday. We spent half of Friday at Nugget City (where I worked in 2002 and 2003) and then we drove to Whitehorse on Friday about 4 pm. Somehow, we didn't get to Tara's place until 11 pm though.... We did stop for dinner and briefly at the fair though. Today was Tara's Graduation from LPN here in Whitehorse (Tara is Linda's oldest daughter, Linda is Amber's Mom), and I spent the evening with Amy and her boyfriend. Rumour has it that we are not heading back to Watson Lake as planed tomorrow morning, which means the plans I had with Leatha might have to be re-arranged. I am annoyed, but I should have known better than to trust the Goodwin's time frames. They do not have the shopping they needed to do done yet, so I guess we will see what happens. If I don't make it back to Watson until Monday, I will say goodbye to Nugget City and it's occupants Monday afternoon, and spend the remaining time in town with Leatha and Emily. Amber won't like it, but I do have other people up here besides her!

Amber and I stopped in to see Trav's parents and Nathaniel on our way up. The little guy has been asking about me for ages, and just doesn't understand why Krystal now comes with Daddy and not Jenna. I hate doing it to him. I love him as much as I love Desmond. I am hoping that somehow, I can get to see him a little more - maybe as a babysitter? It was just a quick, spur of the moment visit, but it made me happy. I love those guys!

However, it did make me lonely. I miss Travis more so far this week than I have in a while. I miss all we had. I miss all we were. I miss my best friend most of all. When I have had service up here (which is only in towns), I have wanted to text him to tell him anything on my mind, to get a little comfort from home, to escape the troubles I find up here. I don't know if it's because I am trying to convince Amber that she will survive her breakup, and because we have been talking a lot about our lost men, or if it's because I really do just miss him so much. I know he is with Krystal, and I want to be okay with that. But I certainly do miss my best friend. A whole lot. Trav, if you are reading this, is there a chance of that friendship? Or not for miles down the road?

We saw so many bears along the Cassiar Highway! Wednesday night, we saw 7 bears within half an hour of each other. We had seen a moose back near Vanderhoof as well. Wednesday night, we slept in the car at a rest area about 2 hours out of Dease Lake. Amber had a friend in Dease Lake who owns a restaurant, so we lucked out with a free breakfast there! Between Dease and Watson (about 3 hours) we saw another 4 bears and a moose. So, it was quite the roadtrip animal wise! Amber and I talked most of the way, and for the last hour or so, sang along to songs from our youth off my ipod. We sang loudly and badly and had a great time, which is what road trips are all about!

I have worked a little in the restaurant. Linda seems okay with feeding me as long as I do a little work. We will see how long that lasts I guess. There was a bus that came in for lunch of Friday and I helped there, but really I just stood on the side until I could clear plates. I have helped a little with the dishes as well - turns out the dishwasher is broken. Some things never change, and the Beaver Post is one of those things! Same chaos, same ... everything. If I could remember where things were seven years ago, it would be just liked I stepped back into my life as a 18 year old.

As you have all requested, I have been being a tourist. Amber and I started taking pictures in New Hazelton ( I now wish we started earlier) and I haven't stopped. Amy and Phil drove around Whitehorse tonight looking for things that I could take pictures of. We found a fair amount! Amber and I have done it all along too. That makes it more fun :)

I will have to take pictures of the restaurant, to show how much yet little it has changed. It is definately bigger!

I got my stitches out. The nurse says mild endomesis (where the skin, or in this case, cells) grow in outside their designated spots is my problem. She says it is a very mild case. I get to see the doctor again mid June because they want me to have completed a full cycle before we talk, to see if there are any changes. I am not sure how this is going to work, since I spotted lightly for the week following the surgery, and have been spotting heavily for the last couple days..... had to go buy different supplies in Fraser Lake! This is weird, even for me! So, unless there are "normal" problems coming, I don't see anything normal or better about this!

I am lonely and frustrated, but doing all right. Amber has a broken heart, so I am trying to be strong for her. But seeing Nathaniel reminded me of how much I have lost, and this is a trip I always wanted to make again with someone I love to share it all with. There is so much beauty up here. Travis would love it. I also feel once again like adopting Desmond is best for both of us.... I miss his devilish smile and cheekiness a lot. I can't wait to go back there! Christmas can't come soon enough for that! Scott and Linda I never realised were such jerks. They talked loudly and rudely at the restaurant last night, saying things about the food, and the service, and even the people who worked there. It was a Chinese Restaurant, and it was ran by a whole Chinese family, from Grandparents to Grandchildren. I was embarrassed to be there. Then some boy asked them for five dollars for gas yesterday and they actually said, I have five dollars, but you cannot have it. And then it was implied that he was fat and that fat people don't need help, because he obviously has enough of everything he wants. I again, was mortified. I wanted to pull out five bucks for him and tell him I was sorry for the way he was treated. I just fall back quietly. I have always known that about them, I just... forgot. Amber isn't a jerk like that, or at all, and she is the one I adore! It was nice to be able to express that tonight.

On a good note, although I am exhausted (I think it is a lack of sleep mixed with my normal tiredness), I feel mentally stable. Yes, I know I miss Travis, and yes, I know that depression is still with me. But I feel stable and better. I laugh and mean it. I smile. I am not better, but I am getting there. And the doctor didn't "ruin" my life again.

Anyways, I love you.