A Good Week

GHANA KICKED AMERICA’S ASS! GO GHANA GO! NOW ONTO THE QUARTER FINALS AGAINST URUGUAY!!

Here I am, unemployed again. Hip Hip Hooray? It doesn’t make me happy. All I want to do is make enough money to travel again at the end of the year. I officially have the travel bug! Andrea talked this morning about me coming to see her new flat. Then she went off on a tangent of I can see it in December when we base our travels out of it. Although I have hung onto that desire that her and I could show off England to me, I had put it out of mind. My dear Andrea had said she wanted to travel and didn’t know where she would be by then. They I decided that I wanted to takes Megs with me, so that was alright as an alternative. But I don’t think Megs will be coming. So when Andrea mentioned this morning that she wanted to travel, I jumped on the opportunity to tell her that I longed to travel the world, but had no one to do it with. She was like, well me of course silly! (Sometimes, you just need to leave your comfort zone to find people who want the same things as you!). She said there are super cheap flights to Paris and Spain, Scotland and Ireland from Manchester where she lives. How sweet would that be? Although I obviously don’t want to blow all my cash on seeing the world, I would love to drop enough to see it! I remain hopeful that I can see London and Paris near Christmas time! What a blast that would be! Back pack or whatever around part of Europe before going back to visit my babies? HELL YA! However, that just makes it even more crucial that I get work! I have only worked 6 weeks since September 18, 2009, and they have all been in the last 2 months! But it is summer time, so I remain positive that I will have work for 90% of the summer… just not next week! Human Resources at the College know that I am available and anxious for work, so hopefully they will hook me up! I am house-sitting for the month of August, so that will be some extra funding coming in as well. They are leaving me a vehicle that I can drive to and from work, along with paying me. I have to water the plants and feed and clean up after 3 cats. I am not looking forward to that part of it though! I do currently have 2 weeks of work scheduled at the end of August as well. If I can get a longer term than that though, you better believe I will jump on the opportunity! As I said before, I just cannot convince myself to look for work anywhere else, because they do not pay enough. Working for just 35 hours in the last week has paid my rent plus some! I am not insuring my car, because the expense is currently not worth it to me. I will walk or take the city bus if I need to go somewhere. If it is somewhere else, well, I will either borrow the truck or get on the greyhound! Gotta save money somehow!

I have had such a busy week, that I hardly had a chance to breath, ironically, unless I was at work! I didn’t mind shipping and receiving much, I got some muscle development going! My biggest problem was that there just wasn’t enough work for the seven hours, so I was bored a lot. However, my after work hours seem jammed with activities this week! Maybe that is why I am so tired today! Monday night John and I went out for Ice-cream and had a fun night of driving aimlessly and talking a lot. Tuesday, I made cookies for mom’s staff meeting on Wednesday morning. I also blessed my office with some of my cookies. Wednesday I went for a long walk and talk with Adrianne. I haven’t seen her in ages, so it was nice to just spend some leisure time together. We were never really close, but that doesn’t matter, it was still a very nice evening. I didn’t get home until after 10 from that. Thursday night, I went birthday shopping for John’s 25th birthday. I bought him a bit of a gag gift and laughed so hard. Then I went to counseling, but my counselor forgot about me, and didn’t come in. When I left half an hour later, we still hadn’t heard from her. I really hope she just forgot and that nothing happened. Her boss was definitely worried about her. Jordan and I were supposed to have dinner and then go up to the Aaron Pritchet concert out at Blackburn Community Centre. I walked to the restaurant and met him there. We had a nice dinner, and then headed out. The concert was a blast – I love small venue concerts, they seem so intimate. And Jordan and I had a great time. Lots of laughs and lots of good music and good company!

Yesterday was Justin’s going away party from CNC. He had a beautiful and delicious cake at lunch time, and received a very nice going away present. The college just won’t be the same without him around. And of course, my life at CNC won’t be the same without him around; we had started spending a lot of time together in the last couple months. I actually got asked yesterday if we were dating! I had to laugh. When I asked what the rumours were, I was assured that there were no rumours, she was just curious. After work, the student union was taking him out for drinks and dinner. I am not sure if I invited myself along, or if I was invited, but at any rate, I went with them for this. Despite the complications we ran into, we had a great night. Justin gave me a little robot for Nathaniel that he was going to give to Value Village, and “Mighty Mike” sat on the table for the evening. We were a couple hours late into starting the event, and so, I didn’t get home from work until after nine. I cannot believe he is gone, I miss him already! It’s funny how you don’t realize how much someone means to you until they are leaving. I knew the minute he told me he was considering this move that he had suddenly started meaning more to me. He also calls me some evenings and we chat until we have to go to bed. If he wasn’t gay, the rumours might have a basis to them! Lol.

Today is Eric and Sonya’s wedding. The ceremony was this morning, and I am writing this is the many hours before the reception. Sonya looked great, as did everyone else. The boys clean up well I must say! It made me sad that I knew nobody there. Doesn’t seem like very good friends to me! And yet, they all say “I love you”. I hate the I love you’s that are not real. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it! I would rather have no friends than fake friends! Anyways, knowing nobody, I snuck away pretty soon after the ceremony ended, but then the wedding party was all heading for photos anyways. I had forgotten that Nickolas’s mom is friends with Sonya and Eric, so I was happy to get to see him today. I tried to talk to him and Cory to keep them out of trouble, but Mom was still yelling at them. Sometimes, you just have to let your children play! Even at a wedding – it was before Sonya had arrived that they were having problems. I told Nickolas he better write to me, and his mom laughed.

Congratulations Eric and Sonya Rockwell! Wishing you all the best in your future together – may it be long and prosperous, and may you always be each other’s best friends!

Tomorrow I am heading out to Fraser Lake to see Mom and Derek and Nathaniel. I am really excited to be able to have a whole day to spend with them and to catch up with an uninterrupted visit! The day I went out with Travis and Nathaniel was a little awkward, because Travis and I were not together, and were not used to be not together and yet still together. I am not sure we could handle it yet either, but the good news is he is not supposed to be there! So, a birthday present for Nathaniel (and a robot), and Africa pictures and time to visit. What a lovely day I am expecting it to be! Nathaniel will be coming back into town with me. I emailed his mother yesterday and asked her if I could be a part of Nathaniel’s life, because I do not want him to think that I abandoned him. I told her that I loved him as though he was my own child, and that I missed him a lot. She emailed back and told me that she was happy to keep me in his life, as she could always see that I included him when I was with Travis. We now have exchanged phone numbers and she says that I can just give her a shout and we will set up a time when I can see him beyond this weekend. I was so happy with her response that I almost teared up a little. Mom cautioned me about becoming too big of a part of his life, when my own life is so up in the air. I still want to spend my life overseas in some capacity. Hopefully, he would be old enough to remember me and receive my cards as me remembering and loving him, whenever that does happen. I will find a way. I am just like that.

I bought a Buddy Bear for the Variety Club’s radioathon, which raised over $45 000 this year! The bears are $200, but I only paid $100 and Canfor paid the rest. I named the bear Desmond. Some child in the Prince George Hospital will hopefully feel all the love that went into that bear. That is $100 less for my babies, and is named after my baby!

Next week has much fewer plans made than this week had. I have a doctor’s and counselor’s appointment on Tuesday. I am not sure what to tell my doctor, as I still feel like a hormonal roller coaster has taken over my life! I will tell her the truth of course! My goal for counseling this week is to see if she has any genius ideas as to why I dream of death every morning. Sometimes it is my own, sometimes my babies, sometimes strangers, but there is always death. Sometimes they are murdered, sometimes I murder them. Sometimes there are medical problems, but always contagious ones. It is never just one person who dies in my dreams. Justin said that it is because I have had a lot of close calls this year within my life, I have had a lot of time to think about death, and I have a couple of people fighting diseases and death as well. He says that it is a little like being afraid of death, because it is too close to me. He might not have a degree, but he is often accurate. He is my favorite counselor, and he is free and a friend too! I am currently determined to pick up my self help Bible that saved me a year ago, and read it again too. I haven’t felt like I could make a difference in my life for a long time, but I am feeling like that right now. So, Monday I plan to read it and remind myself how to love myself. I feel like I have been lifted a little with all my social interactions of the week, and like I can finally do it. So, hopefully I can, and hopefully it helps! I don’t have any plans for Canada Day, and that makes me a little sad, but maybe I will find some. Mom and I are hopefully going camping on Friday, and if I am still unemployed, we might head out on Wednesday and I will just hang out alone on Friday at the beach or whatever. That would be good too!

Anyways, I have hit the 4th page on word, so I guess I should end this. I am not even sure that anyone reads it! If you do read it, know that I love you! Thank you for loving me!