Yesterday was incredible. I got to the farm, and waited about two minutes before the family was back (there was a note). Nathaniel got out of the truck and screamed “JENNA! JENNA! WHERE ARE YOU!” Grammy told him I was inside and he ran to the house and threw his arms around my neck. What more can a girl ask for than the unconditional love of a child? It melts my heart (which is normally pretty melty anyways, but that is irrelevant!) Of course, Marlene and Derek also gave me big hugs. They really are my second family! I gave Nathaniel the robot that Justin had given to me for him while Grammy got lunch ready. Oh my goodness! What excitement he had! He was literally jumping up and down in anticipation! He is so cute! The robot got even better when it shot little foam discs out! He played with the Mighty Mike all day! I think that Grammy and Papa were happy to send it home as it doesn't have a volume button that we could find, and it REALLY noisy. Natasha, however, didn't look too thrilled when Mighty Mike walked through her doors last night! That's okay, that's what Aunty's are for right? Justin kind of stole my thunder with my lame birthday gifts (books, a toy, a candy and a t-shirt) but we all knew that Mike was better than those things! And, as far as Nathaniel is concerned, it is all from me anyways!
Marlene has taken to calling me Aunty Jenna which is good. It doesn't remind him so much that I used to be like a mother to him, and it reassures that I am not going anywhere. He never once mentioned Daddy to me; I hope that Daddy isn't getting as many questions either. Marlene thinks that because I keep coming around it is easier for him, because he knows that I am not gone, even if I am not with Daddy. I gather that Travis is unsure of how he feels about my continuing relationship with his family and his son, but he told me when we split up that he didn't dream of asking me to leave them, and if he knows me at all, he should know that I cannot do that.
Marlene, Derek and I spent a couple hours going through my Ghana scrapbooks. About half way through, Derek announced that he was finally understanding why I had such a hard time upon my return to Canada. I had lived a different life altogether in Ghana, with 30 children that I loved and loved me back. They see how I am with Nathaniel, and multiply it by 30! At the end, Marlene asked where the time had gone. Derek (I find him hilarious) pointed out that they went to Ghana today, that is not something you can do in 5 minutes! Marlene is going to go and take Leah she has decided. Derek was being like “Is that Kwashie again?” It was nice to see them recognizing the children by name after only one of the two albums! It was so nice to have Marlene and Derek to talk to for the day. We have a lot in common, and a lot of people in common. Most people I talk to about Travis only know Travis because I talked about him, or they met him through me. Although we didn't talk a lot about Travis and I, it was nice to have someone else who has been hurt by him as well. At least I know I am not the only one being fooled by him.
Today, I am just hanging out at home. However, because I have had such an incredible couple of days, I am determined to go back to liking me for who I am. It has been over a year since I liked me and was okay with me,and it is long past time to get there again. It is somewhat funny how a year ago I had to hit my bottom to get to this point, and this year, I had to find happiness in my life again before I could do anything to help myself. But, I am at that point, and I am determined to at least get it started. If I don't have work and the weather is crappy, what else should I do but work on myself? I am going to start with “You Can Heal Your Life” which saved me last year, and if need be, I will pull out the other books as well. I can do this, now is the time.
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