The choice between love and dreams is a hard one to make, but ultimately, when faced with that choice, there is only one answer. I love you with all my heart, but I cannot be with you, because together, one of us will not be happy. My dreams contradict each other, and neither of them can happen with you. There is no point in trying to regain the trust and love we once had because our paths lead very separate ways. That hurts more than anything else we have done. This time, it’s coming from me. This time, I also know is the last time, because this time, it is coming from me. And I cannot give up myself, not when I just started to know who I am. So, in favour of dreams I am scared to look into, scared to imagine, I leave you. Before I even formed those words in my head, I missed you. My soul feels empty. I am not sure it will ever feel like the right decision. I love you. I always will. I will be there for you in an instant, if you let me. I will do anything for you. The irony of losing you to dreams, is that I didn’t have dreams before you. Right now, as tears stream down my face, for what appears to be the 5th hour, I want to say that I would go back to not dreaming if it meant I could keep you.
We can’t stop fighting though. I need you in my life. I need my best friend. I need the only person who has ever understood me. I need the only person I have loved so completely. I need you. I will find a way to be just your friend. I will find a way to make it hurt less to see you. I will find a way to stop kissing the lips I feel like I am meant to kiss. I will find a way to stop touching you like I was meant to touch you. But I need you. Whatever else we can let go of, I need you.
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