Ummm... Stuff

I want to thank you:
-Thank you for showing me love when I needed to feel it
-Thank you for standing by my side when I wanted to fall
-thank you for giving me the courage to do what I needed to do
-Thank you for helping me become me.
-Thank you for the smiles
-thank you for the laughs
-thank you for the memories – they remain sweet even now
-thank you for the people who are part of my life because of you
-and thank you, for having the courage to leave before it was too late!

You will never know how much I appreciate you, and all you did for me. I will never tell you. You think I am bitter at you. You think I am mad. I am mostly sad. Sad that you were not who I thought you were. Sad that you let yourself go like you did. Sad that our friendship is over, sadder that it never truly existed.




Okay. On a real note.

I have not heard from Walmart. I guess I will try to call them tomorrow and see what is going on. I figured that because it was a tight schedule to get in for Sunday that things just got delayed. But it has now been over a week since my interview, and I have not heard a word. I don't know what I will do if there is no job at Walmart for me – no one else I have applied to have even given me a call back. I am actually really hoping for the job. CNC is really annoying me right now. I know I need work, but dammit, if there is no work to do, please do not hire me! I do not need a job enough to sit there and look pretty for 7 hours! Yesterday I accomplished the entire list that was left for me. I still had 9 days to go! Today I worked on a little project with someone else and we somehow filled most of the whole day. However, neither of us even has filing left for us to look at! The other person I am working with is the person who got the term position, and she doesn't even have work to do? Fricking ridiculous! However, I am grateful for the work. I just wish I was needed and busy! I don't remember last July being this slow!

I am going to the lake tomorrow after work. It's a bit of a Chevron reunion but that's okay. I haven't really seen them in ages. I know, I know. I lived with Jordan, but I haven't seen too much of him since I got home, and I haven't seen Sam since I quit! She was a really good friend back then! We are going the easy route – bringing pizza out with us. I am taking my Africa pictures in case they want to see them. We will swim and eat and have a good time! I am really excited for it. I wanted to make it a big thing, but apparently 3 days notice doesn't give me many friends! At least I know that they are friends too!

I have talked to Natasha, I am going to take Nathaniel to West Lake one day on the weekend. I just need to pick a day I guess. I am going to stop at the dollar store and get us some toys which I will keep so that we can play. Sand castles and ball I think.

I start house sitting on Friday. They have promised I will have internet, and it looks like I have service out there for my phone too! This is all good things! I hope my cat allergies don't act up! I don't think they have a TV out there – it might be a problem for me, as it is a good entertain yourself thing. I am hoping to borrow a lap top for the month so I can at least rent movies!

I went swimming today. I didn't make it as long as I planned. I was going to push myself to swim for an hour, but all my joints started clicking and hurting, so I called it a day. I probably did 20 laps – and I think they are full laps now that part of our pool collapsed in the winter (we had walkways above the water for instruction or something). I also tread water for about 10 minutes. My arms started first, then my hips and my knees. However, I feel that exhausted feeling of doing exercise. So that is a good start! I plan (again) to start going every week. I think now that I don't have counseling on Tuesday, I will go on Tuesdays. I bought a punch card before I went to Ghana, and this was only the second punch on it! Eventually I will be able to swim the hour I want to swim. Maybe then I won't feel fat anymore! It seems to me that when I left for Ghana, all my clothes were lose, now they hurt after a day of being in them. My tummy is hard, and I really don't understand how it can be fat and hard all at the same time, but I know it is. My counselor, after looking at pictures of me in Ghana told me that she was sure I had lost weight, but I don't feel like I have. Yesterday I stood on the scale and was five pounds more than where I thought I was sitting. It's a little disappointing, but I know I haven't been doing anything about it, so I think it is time to start. Today was the start. Hopefully I can keep motivated with it. Next week: 45 minutes in the pool before I head to the hot tub. We will see if my very old body agrees with me.

Oh, I know all those thank yous were to Trav, and I know you know that too. But they also apply to you. Each one of you have stood by me when I needed a friend, gave me the encouragement I needed to succeed, you have been there when I cried, been there when I laughed (made me laugh, and made me cry), and been truly amazing to me. For that, I am forever grateful to you, and proud to call you my friend. Thank you. For everything. Thank you for my life.

Now I am off to bed, because I am exhausted, but in a good way! I am smiling in my exhaustion too!

I love you. I truly do.