might have me getting lesbian looks. I admit that I do not like how the looks I have received from some men (and women) since I shaved my head have changed. The men seem to look at me with a little bit of distaste, and the women, well, honestly, I prefer not to think about it! We are all good, as long as you don't hit on me! I know.... I have had this problem for a while. I admit that sometimes when I see gay couples I feel a little weird. I think that is society's doing. In the past, we have worked hard on making gays 'Different' and therefore bad. Their relationship does not bother me, I think it is just 'shocking' when I see it. I know it is silly. But today, it only felt right. I was amazed at the number of older couples that were out with us today. I always assumed (I know, don't assume!) that it was more of a young person's initiative. However, it is probably because our generation has made such an effort to bring Gay Pride to the forefront that these couples are comfortable being out in public. With the exception of a few haters, Pride is a safe place to come out at. The Student Union table did have some haters go by, but we just stated our opinion and told them they were allowed their own. We did however wonder what they were doing at the event.
We were right up front in the parade. We followed into the line up right after the 40 foot long Pride Flag went down the road. It was really fun. It's different than the only other parade I have taken part in – the Remembrance Day Parade that Girl Guides joined in every year at the civic center. This is a celebration parade, a fun, and make our point be known parade whereas Remembrance Day is obviously more of a somber walk of remembrance. It was really fun. We handed out Adult Only Goodie Bags to the adults and candy to their very disappointed children. Jess and I held the banner, and every now and then, we would make a detour because I found the perfect person to give a goodie bag too. For the most part, we just walked and the other members gave out the goods. The Student Union had put together shirts in every colour of the Pride Rainbow with their slogan on it. We all wore these for the day. I was purple and sadly purple didn't work out very well – one could barely see the writing on my shirt. Every time I sent up a “whoop”, a “whoop” wave followed behind me. This lady ahead of us was like “Can I try to get others to follow me like that? So, we waited quietly, she let out a cheer and it too, followed down the line. I was surprised at the amount of people lining some of the streets. For a while it looked like we had left all of the support on City Hall's lawn, but there were little groups along the entire route. I know, a lot of the parents were only there so their children could see a parade, but that doesn't matter either.
Did you know that any man that has had sex with a man, can never donate blood? It doesn't matter about monogamous relationships or safe sex, or even if the man has tested clean for everything. Any man that has had sex with another man cannot donate blood. We handed out forms all day to put a stop to this segregation. Canada is always in desperate need of blood, and we turn people away because they love the same sex? Pretty ridiculous! It seems to me that if you are going to stop gay men from donating blood, then anyone who is sexually active shouldn't be able to either. What's the difference between me and my multiple partners in my lifetime, and gay man? Anyways, if you want to help with that, go to www.stoptheban.ca to join the fight against this.
Of course, all the Pride activities were going on. We had our Queen's out in full gear, preforming on the steps of City Hall. To me, this feels a bit like a protest, that everything happened on the front lawn of City Hall, and in a way I guess it was, but I know we also had permission to be there.
I had my face painted by Kelsey – Jess and I were getting rainbows done! Starbucks was giving away free cold beverages. There was a BBQ going. There were 12 booths with information for gay couples – and the public of course: AIDS awareness, the Nurse's Union, the needle exchange, people selling Pride items and just people out showing they care. If I had more friends, I might even have gone to the dance tonight – but that almost seems too much like becoming a part of them, instead of just a supporter. I still make that sound bad don't I? It's not like that. I just know I am straight. But as the straight supporters signs said – Straight but not Narrow. I guess, a big part of me is afraid: being hit on, although flattering, is a little nerve racking when you are totally not interested in their gender! I had such a great time at Pride today, I stayed the whole day. I was not going to the dancing, or to the film festival, or to the BBQ in the park tomorrow. I love that all couples were welcomed at this event. I love that people were free to love for once, as they felt they should. I love that I was a part of it. I support all couples, and think that no one has the right to stop them from loving who they love.
I think it was the Greeks, back in ancient times. They believed that they were all born with an other half. This other half could be any gender. It was the part that made them whole. Having annoyed the Gods, they were all separated and made separate entities. The Greeks then believe that every human spends their life searching for their other half – the one the God's separated them from. Therefore, it never mattered in Greek mythology if you found someone of the same sex or opposite sex to love. It was your other half, and that was all that mattered: you were now complete.
Obviously, I am getting past this finding “the other half” slowly, but, I still believe in the concept. I do not believe that anyone chose to be straight or not, and I don't believe that anyone else has the right to judge them on that. To judge on their choice of partners, alright, maybe that needs some judgment, but not on the sex of that partner.
In other news......
Arriving home from Pride, I had a message from Walmart asking me to call them. I called back, did a quick phone interview with the girl and have a face to face interview on Tuesday. She says I have to bring 2 pieces of ID with me. That sounds positive right? She asked why I left the college. I told her that I was still an employee there, but it is casual work, and I require more stable employment. She asked what my previous job was (Apparently my resume was in the other room) and I said Western Inventory Services. She almost laughed, and said “I don't have to ask any more questions about that, we all know WIS well” I was like, I know. I told her that I was willing to work in almost any department, but my experience lays with the cash register. She asked why I wanted to apply to Walmart. I didn't hesitate. I told her that in all honesty, I had applied at many places, but that Walmart employees always seem helpful and friendly, and that I would enjoy being a part of a team like that. It got me an interview anyways!
Despite it being a box store, and a step down from what I am used to, I am excited for my interview. I will have to tell them that I have 2 weeks of work scheduled with CNC, and that I will work anything else that CNC gives me around them. I am going to leave out my desire to travel until I have that figured out. If they ask about long term plans, I guess I will have to tell them that though. However, with none of it planned, it can seem distant future. I am excited that I might have work again, and something to do! I gave my hours of availability whatever the bus ran. I fumbled through the bus schedule while on the phone to give her an approximate time I would have to leave to catch the bus. Although they close at 10, I cannot work until close, and the bus goes by Walmart at about 10:15 for it's last run for the night, and you have to be able to say half an hour before or after the store's hours.
If I don't get on at Walmart, I will follow through with the quickie to the Okanagan. It all depends on Tuesday now!
I had to cancel my last counseling appointment though. I am hoping she can reschedule. We are not really going to have a session so much as talk about Ghana one more time. I am supposed to bring my scrapbooks and we are going to go through them. I think it is more that after hearing about Ghana for 3 months, she just wants to see some of it. But Hell, I LOVE talking about Ghana, and I love sharing my scrapbooks on them. I am proud of how my scrapbooks look, and the time I spent there changed my life. Then, I am counselor-less for August. I have emergency numbers, and the main referral line, but I am hoping not to have to use them. I think I will continue counseling in the fall. I enjoy having someone to tell all my problems too – and they might just have an answer for me! It's funny. Me, as a happy individual talks for an hour without noticing how it has passed. Me as super depressed can tell a lot as well, if I know what is going on. Fighting with Trav, I had lots to say. But in just a normal mood, I have nothing to say. Last week, I was bored and nothing had happened in ages, and the hour was one of the longest of my life! But, I am glad I went. I know I could have done this eventually, and I am not sure she was amazing, but I think that having her on my side did a lot for me. I don't know. It's strange. I enjoy going to counseling every week though. Next month is going to feel weird!
I see my Gynecologist again on Monday. He shouldn't have much to say that we don't already know. He just has a fuller analysis of my scopes than his nurse had 6 weeks ago. Of course, I will tell you all about that!
For now, I am going to go find a movie for tonight, and then spend another day in the sun tomorrow!
I love you!
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