Ah. Life.
I was congratulated on being full of life today, and of living life to the fullest. I wanted to laugh at the man who said it. I knew he was being sincere as well (which also catches me off guard sometimes!). Most of it is because of my African adventures, which are obviously not stopping anytime soon. He told me how wise I was to not be settling down at my age. I laughed and told him a year ago, I was. A year ago, had I got the job I thought I wanted, I would have settled down. I had that ring I wanted on my finger, a job I wanted, and the life I wanted stretching out before me. However, a year ago, I was also without dreams or destination. A year ago, I thought that going to Africa might give me direction, but I also naively assumed I would be able to do it from home. Now I realize that the breakup was a blessing in disguise. The breakup has allowed the dreams that blossomed in Ghana to come alive. Today, I can’t wait to get out of dodge. It is not so much that I don’t like it here (because, ultimately, I do. I grew up here. Here is all I know), as a desire to see what else the world offers. I found that I loved living in Africa. I loved that for once, the society was not materialistic. I felt like I fit in. I have never really felt like I fit in here. The man I was talking to today (a co-worker) asked how I was viewed by my cohorts. I told him that I had never fit in, had always been thought of as different, and that they all thought I was nuts for doing what I am doing. I don’t feel this so much now that I talk about teaching English overseas, but I when I mention that Africa or South America is my current goal, that look reappears again. Teaching English is, I suppose, respectable; living in poverty, by choice, is crazy. However, the choice is mine, especially since I am no longer tied to Prince George as I once was. For the next year or so, my travels will bring me home regularly. After this year, I cannot say what is in store (really, if I am honest, I cannot say what the next hour has in store, but I can think I know…)
I have decided that no job will hold me back from my dreams either. If Walmart (ha, Walmart) doesn’t let me take my two months off, then I will quit. *shrugs* Not a big load off my shoulders. CNC is normally pretty quiet in December anyways. And I am going to school in January. There shouldn’t be anyone who holds that against me! No, I have not yet got into school – Global Village has not yet posted the dates for 2011, but assured me they would soon. But, I am confident I will be going to school. If not… Walmart! Speaking of Walmart… I was wondering today about Orientation (which would then allow me to start working there…) I got home and there was a phone message left at 1030 this morning. They never tried my cell. It tells me that orientation is tomorrow. Again, I cannot go. Since I got home just about 6, I called them back and left a message saying this. I guess that means I wait ANOTHER couple of weeks. If orientation could have only been on Saturday, I would have been golden, but no. Friday. I find this extra lame, seeing as tomorrow is my last full day of scheduled work. Extra, extra lame because the College Store decided I was no good to them because I needed 3 hours off one day for a previous commitment. I have five, three hour shifts in the next 2 weeks. Back to being a bum I guess. And worse, Nathaniel starts school on Wednesday, so I cannot even steal him for the day and head to Cinema to see the Grandparents! Dumb school, now I have to plan for weekends!
I went to the doctor today. She agreed to take my blood again, hoping that something would come up that explains why I am sleeping 10 hours a night and still struggling through the day. I am also so tired that one harsh word almost puts me into tears! She asked if I had been in contact with someone with Mono. I said not to my knowledge. Mono. What a scary word to throw out there! But, not as scary as other words I have heard. Mono is treatable if I have picked it up somewhere. Of course, after she says Mono, I go… maybe it’s Malaria… about the same likelihood I think! Okay okay, maybe not, but Malaria could technically be a problem, although I am sure I would be sick, as opposed to just tired. Maybe I had a slow acting testi fly! Maybe it is slowly killing me. Yes, I am aware I have an over active imagination – just look at the dreams I have every night! Anyways, my doctor also told me that I have low blood pressure, and therefore need to eat more salt. Salt? Really? She asked if I eat meat, red meat in particular. I said I do. Just to be on the safe side, I am currently cooking a hamburger helper – it has red meat and probably loads of salt! She is sending me to the lab to get my blood taken. I am going to fast as well. We did this when I came home from Ghana and everything was normal, but it’s been months and I have the same things going on. Maybe she will see something fun when she compares samples! We didn’t discuss my anti-depressants, which I thought we might. There was talk long ago about changing them once I was stable to see if that helps. I guess it’s more logical to check my blood first though! I have about a month left in my anti-depressants before I need a new prescription anyways. So, if nothing stops me, I will go to the lab on Saturday morning. If something does stop me – well, I am hardly working from now on!
I am doing a presentation on Thursday – well a booth I guess – on the orphanage. I am really excited about it. I have put together a slide show which outlines a typical day, and shows each of our children individually. The children are the children I knew, and I know that they have changed in faces and numbers since then. Last night I put together a brochure, which I had printed today at the College. Rusty did a pretty good job – they even came folded! In some ways I wish I could have folded them – the pages don’t quite line up properly, but if they were folded just right they do… but I am thankful that they came back to me folded, as it is so much less work for me! I am really happy with the way my projects are turning out. It is the first time I have made a movie on the computer. They are my first brochures. They are not amazing, but I am proud of them nonetheless. They are my creations, and if I may, I did a damn good job on them! Hopefully I can raise at least a little awareness about the orphanage, and maybe get some donations or people interested!
My dinner is ready, and I am conveniently out of words! I love you!
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