Outraged

 I am outraged for a graduate this year.  A graduate I know personally.  She deserves the stars and moon, and the world won’t even buy her lunch.  The class of 2021 is largely a forgotten graduate class due to the lingering Covid19 pandemic.  Last year a huge deal was made for the class of 2020, the pandemic class.  This year they get nothing, despite restrictions lessening.  So loved ones are left trying to show their graduate how special they are.

The young lady I speak of is Indigenous.  Indigenous children in Canada have a 75% graduation rate, and a 48% graduation rate if living on “reserve".  Based on those facts alone, let’s celebrate this graduate!  She tells me she is THE ONLY Indigenous graduate in Quesnel in 2021!  Celebrate her more!  She isn’t sure if her Mom graduated high school and her uncles did not.  Her grandparents are Residential School Survivors.   If this meant nothing 2 weeks ago to society, it should mean everything following the discovery of a mass grave of missing children who were murdered at a Residential School.  Celebrate the hell out of this young lady and the massive achievements she has had and the obstacles she has navigated to be here.  My heart bursts with pride in knowing her.

This young lady won a “Cinderella" prize, where she gets her hair and make up done, access to a free dress and a photoshoot!  Finally, something to celebrate the role model she is, to her community, to the world, to the generations to come.  Research shows that young people who see people they identify with succeeding are more likely to succeed themselves based solely in that role models example.  As someone who loves this young lady very much, I reached out to the photographer to see if I could add a paid photoshoot to the prize package.  I shared how important this young lady's grandparents are to her, how they might be her biggest supports.  Tears filled my eyes when the photographer said that they ”would see" if they could grab any family shots.  They “will see"?!?!  I didn’t ask for anything free, I asked if I could add a paid addition to the already existing photoshoot to capture important people in her life.

I then reached out to Big Brothers Big Sisters, who matched this young lady and I six years ago.  We remain an active match until school ends.  I asked what they do for grads.  Pre-pandemic, they used to take us out for lunch every year for our “match-iversary".  That didn’t happen for our 5th year.  I was told we would do something before she aged out.  The email I got back said “we don’t normally do anything for our grads".  Pardon me?!?! She is graduating high school, aging out of your program?! You will be closing her file and you cant do anything?

This was a last straw for me.  I cried harder for her than I have for myself in a while.  This young lady deserves all the celebration and will be getting nothing (please know that I know her family will celebrate her, I know she doesn’t get “nothing").  I am outraged at the community.  A photographer who will not add a paid shoot to an existing shoot to make it more special.  An organization all about supporting kids that just closes the file without a word.  May as well tell her that she means nothing to you, was just another number.

Well she matters to me.  And I will go out of my way to make sure she knows how important and special she is.

Watching her grow from a grade 7 kid to a graduating adult has been an incredible experience.  She has taught me so much about Indigenous culture, the intergenerational trauma that exists from white man.  We have gone from talking about cute YouTubers to how to fight racism in our community.  She has gone from someone who denied her own race, culture, identity, to a woman not afraid to stand up for who she is.  She has lost friends who were not ready to see their privilege and couldn’t handle having it called out.  What a brave statement to make at 17/18 years of age.  She has struggled with school but has also hunkered down and got it done.  She has been called all sorts of names and stood up proud of herself at the end.  She might still be figuring out who she is, but she is doing such a wonderful job of it.  She didn’t waiver from me when I was pregnant and cranky, or when we had to meet at my house so I could breastfeed baby while she continued our activity.  I don’t think I have ever had so many brave, open conversations about so many hard topics.  I am so proud of this wonderful young lady.  As she plans to move on with her life, I know there will be a hole in my life which she has filled for 6 years.  Six beautiful years of cultivating a friendship. Six beautiful years of watching a young lady bloom.  She is so special and I am so happy that we had this opportunity.  I am ashamed that the community is not willing to celebrate her more.