Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Healing Happiness


Facebook very helpfully told me I had a mental breakdown six years ago.  It wasn’t obvious, as it was just a picture.  But, it is a picture I took when I was feeling lost.  I had quit my job and got on the next bus out of town.  I felt destroyed as a human being.  My depression was at one of it’s worst (it would get worse almost a year later but it was rough).  This post made me laugh in a way, but sad in other ways.  That was my life.

I don’t want to dwell on that.  That was a rough year or two in my life.  I made bad decisions and ended up in a bad place.  We have all been there.  We move on.

I have spent the last couple hours thinking about that.  I took a depression/anxiety/drinking test for school today.  Obviously, I don’t have anxiety or a drinking problem.  It also said I don’t really have depression.  I had been thinking about reducing my anti-depressants again this spring.  I think with that knowledge under my belt, I will try.

My life today is pretty much perfect.  I just finished two years on my second degree program, and for the first time in my life, felt like I fit in.  I have made amazing friends in that program, and I am sure that they are lifelong friends.  Those of us that made it through still smiling at each other are meant to be.  I am so thankful for everyone!

I am about to start a practicum that could challenge me to my very core.  I am a little nervous, but also excited and proud.  If I am able to excel at this practicum, I could have a job with the ministry for a while.  This would play well into a FASD role in my future – a program which I have just started another course for.  Ideally, I could end up doing a couple years with the ministry and then do a practicum for FASD and be perfectly qualified!  I feel entirely ready to start this role.  And if it doesn’t work for me in the ministry, well, I still have a BSW and am about to embark on an amazing journey.

I made a decision to make things work with Nick in October.  We are about a month into living together, although it has been a little gradual as I have been out of town.  Nick and I obviously have some things we need to work out as we have never lived together or even close enough to have our lives entwine.  We are falling into a good routine.  Sometimes we have communication breakdowns, but we are working through them.  A month in and it feels like the right decision.  I am settling into Quesnel.   I have bought a resident pass at the swimming pool.  The course I am taking for FASD has a project where I have to commit to change during the course.  Nick and I have decided to make healthy living our goal, and we are doing it together.  I can’t think of a better way to start our lives together than becoming more healthy, together.  We will be doing exercise together (or at the same time – I will go to the pool and he will go to the gym in the same building sometimes).  I am happy to see this being forced on us in a good way!

I learned the other day that my problems from a decade ago where maybe all in my head.  I hated the girl I was in Wells, but from the sounds of other people’s experiences of Wells, mine were nothing to write home about at all.  I hated myself for whoring around a little that summer.  I blamed myself for exposure to HPV and hence cervical cancer.  In my head, everyone knew what I did, and I was important enough to remember.  Nick’s tattoo artist is a man I knew in Wells.  When we were introduced last week and I said we knew each other from a summer in Wells, he drew a complete blank.  At some point in the night, talk of Wells came up.  I listened quietly as the group talked about their own escapades.  There was talk about the couple having sex in the pathway on a tarp; of naked group bathing; the intense amount of drugs, and the random hook ups.  These are not my memories of Wells.  I know there were drugs, and I remember witnessing some hook ups.  I did not see the majority of what they talked about.  This made me feel a little better.  No one knows the girl that had a rough summer.  Everyone else has very similar, if not more, of the similar experiences.  When I told Nick this, he asked how I possibly did not see the same Wells as what the young people of Quesnel know about.  He asked what my experience of Wells had been.  The question was left hanging – what did I feel so bad about?  This has been an interesting development in my world.  Hopefully that means I can finally move forward from that as well.

So yes, Facebook, I had a mental breakdown six years ago.  Since then, I have been to Ghana twice, got a CELTA certificate, taught in China for a year, finished (almost) a BSW, and found a man that while we don’t have a lot in common, I think is worth fighting for.  And this girl, who had a mental breakdown a year ago, is in a great place!

Thanks to those of you who stuck out the last six years, and those of you I picked up along the way.  You are so wonderful and I love you so much!

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